Instead of spending your single time in-between relationships being miserable, invest it powerfully. We would like to present some great life-coaching strategies, which have helped many people tremendously. 3 questions to ask yourself during your single time between relationships:
1. What did I do right?
By asking yourself what you did right during the relationship, you acknowledge how much you’ve learned about being a good partner. It’s an opportunity to measure your personal growth instead of playing the blame game, which always pollutes your next relationship, whether you realize it or not. It doesn’t matter if you’re blaming yourself or your guy: Blame is toxic to all relationships, even the one you have with yourself.
- What were you better at this time than in previous relationships? (opening up, trusting, communicating, being more loving, etc.)
- Were you supportive of him / her? (trusting, encouraging, showing appreciation, etc.)
- Did you establish and enforce healthy boundaries, ensuring you were treated respectfully and speaking up if not?
Congratulate yourself on the things you did right. You’ll be able to measure your progress and become a better partner each time.
2. What were the challenges?
By taking a look at the challenges of past relationships, you identify patterns and specific qualities you want and those you want to avoid in your next relationship. Be honest with yourself to make the most out of your single in-between time and visualize a relationship without these challenges.
- Did one or both of you have too-high expectations?
- Did the relationship feel one-sided with one of you investing more than the other?
- Were there conflicts that caused irrecoverable harsh feelings?
3. What can I work on before my next relationship?
This is where being single between relationships can take on a new, powerful meaning. When you gain clarity and learn new ways of communicating, you begin to attract a different type of guy. It’s the law of vibration. Think of yourself as a magnet. In an emotionally healthy relationship, a confident guy is attracted to a confident woman. In an unhealthy relationship, an insecure guy is attracted to an insecure woman because he subconsciously feels threatened by a woman who’s comfortable with herself. If you’ve been in that position or seen it in a friend, you probably agree.
- Do you need to release past emotions that keep you attracting the same type of guy / girl?
- Could you develop more quality gal pals to stay more emotionally balanced and connected?
- Would establishing healthy boundaries help you to have more confidence in yourself?
To sum up, pain, anger, resentment, joy, love, happiness, and all other feelings are emotions that are in our subconscious mind, thinking differently will only work temporarily, and on a surface level. That means at some point, those emotions stored from other relationships are sure to raise their ugly heads. Truly releasing them is powerful and gives you a brand-new start.
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