He cheated on you. You love him, but this isn't a "who forgot to take out the garbage" kind of fight; you're dealing with infidelity - the "Big I." Now what? Can your relationship survive the trust issuesbefore you? Depending on your situation, your willingness to save your relationship, and oftentimes a whole lot of relationship counseling, you can get through this, resolve your trust issues, and come out stronger for it. Read on for somerelationship advice for women dealing with infidelity.
A Story about Infidelity
Tom and his wife Suzanne were married right after college. They met in their junior year and dated until graduation, intentionally waiting until each of them found a job before tying the knot. Tom was a marketing major and was hired by an international firm with a home office in the UK. He frequently traveled to Europe on business and after two years of long flights and stressful meetings with his colleagues overseas, he found himself alone one night having dinner in a trendy restaurant in London's fashion district. Seeing that Tom was having dinner alone, a well-dressed woman at a nearby table struck up a conversation and asked the waiter to bring a bottle of wine to the table so they might become better acquainted. At first, Tom just enjoyed the lighthearted banter, and found himself relaxing while having a drink with this engaging young lady. But after the second glass of wine, their eyes met and Tom found himself drawn to this beautiful woman. Lonely, stressed and flattered that she found him attractive, Tom stayed longer than he should have and after a couple more glasses of wine, with his judgment clouded, he accepted the woman's invitation to come back to her hotel.
The next morning Tom felt sick thinking about his wife and how he'd betrayed her. After a couple of long and sleepless nights, he decided that the best thing to do was to tell her what happened and hoped they could work it out.
Tom, like many young professionals today, had been working so hard to build his career that the stress of long hours and lonely nights away from home finally took its toll on his marriage. Although the details may differ a bit, if you've ever suffered from infidelity in your marriage, you will easily recognize the symptoms.
Relationship Counseling - A Must
The best relationship advice for women dealing with infidelity it is to get relationship counseling. Cheating is the ultimate betrayal in a partnership and it is nearly impossible to get through the trust issues that surface without guidance and relationship counseling from a professional.
A life coach or counselor is integral because the trust issues that result from cheating will eat away at a relationship if not addressed. Additionally, the emotional reasons that led to cheating need to be brought to the surface when dealing with infidelity. A professional can work with you and your husband or boyfriend to address those issues so that you don't find yourself in this situation again.
Don't Blame Yourself When Dealing with Infidelity
Another important piece of relationship advice for women who are dealing with infidelity: don't blame yourself. Women tend to take on most of the responsibility when their significant other has cheated. But when people cheat, several factors come into play and most of those have to do with the cheater's issues, not yours.
Infidelity can signify long-standing problems in a relationship, but it takes two to tango, so fight the temptation to take on all the blame. Whatever relationship problems you and your partner have, nothing warrants the act of cheating. If there are tribulations in the relationship that you've played a part in, it's fine to own up to your role in that, but don't blame yourself when dealing with infidelity; that was your partner's choice. Relationship counseling can help him take responsibility for that while healing your relationship and addressing any contributing factors.
Overcoming Trust Issues
Once you've gotten relationship counseling to understand the issues that led to infidelity, it is crucial that you address trust issues head on. Building up the reservoir of trust that was lost is going to take time and work. Always looking over your partner's shoulder or wondering if he is cheating again will surely doom your relationship, not to mention eat away at your emotional well-being. Relationship counseling will help you work through your trust issues, commit to starting anew with your partner, and build a stronger foundation for your relationship.
Relationship Advice for Women
Who Can't Resolve Trust Issues
If you've decided that your relationship cannot withstand the trust issues that have surfaced, it is still important to get relationship counseling for yourself. Dealing with infidelity takes a toll on your emotional health and can leave battle scars on your psyche. A counselor can help you deal with trust issues so that you don't carry them into your next relationship.
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