Just sitting down and waiting for healing to take place does not help; it only lengthens the process. Working to become a positive influence is what move things forward. If you want to help:
• LISTEN: when your loved one need to talk listen without trying to defend, explain, rationalize or excuse your behavior. Don’t try to correct their misperceptions’ or lessen their pain by minimizing it
• VALIDATE: don’t tell them they shouldn’t feel that way. When people talk about their pain they are doing the work necessary to help them heal. By letting them know that their feeling are legitimate rather than making them feel weak or silly; you enable them to work through the negative emotions.
• APOLOGISE: yes again! Whoever says “Love means never having to say you are sorry” did not know much about human relationships. Every genuine apology promotes healing. A heart felt “I’m sorry” is medicine to a wounded soul. So apply it until its no longer needed and your loved one will let you know when that is.
• REPAIR: offer to help repair the hurt you have caused. “I know I have I have wounded you and I really wants to know what I can do to help heal the damage’ genuinely spoken, those words realign and make you part of the solution, not just the cause of the problem. The healing process the sooner you will get out of the penalty box and back to the field.
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