I Loved Someone Who Didn't Love Me

I Thought He Loved Me Back!!!!

Please, I need you all who takes a glance on this post to leave your comment and advice.
My heart is shattered and weak.

Here is my Story
I had a best friend when I was like 16 or 17 that I was very close to. She would come over to my house and she had a crush on my cousin, so we would go to his house when she was over so she could talk to him. Well she had  a brother who happened to be my cousins best friend and so I would go to see him at my cousins to. I had the biggest crush on him that anyone could ever have and I thought I'd never get my chance.

This girl that lived with us, which was like a sister to me would go with me to my cousin to see the guy I liked . He ended up liking her and not me. I liked him from the time I was in like SSS3 up until I was in the Polytechnics I watched him be with my friends and screw around with them and I still knew I loved him and wanted my chance.

Well my friend that he liked had moved out of my house, and moved to Texas. She came in when I turned 22 to visit and she was all over him. He went to sleep instead of talking to her because he was drunk. She left and went back to Texas. He came back over and he called my house.

I had never really had a boyfriend and I was very shy. I was afraid to tell my  parents that I wanted to date him. He told me that he wouldn't date me unless I asked their permission so I did. We started hanging out and getting closer and I fell so deeply in Love with him.

He had always just been with girls before to have sex with them and well he was different with me. I never thought he would ever hurt me since he was my cousins best friend. He never tried to have sex with me for 1 year and 9months when we first were together and then he did. I lost my virginity to him and I thought I'd be with him forever.

I was so close to him and I never went anywhere without him. I loved him so much I did everything he told or asked me to do even if it was something I didn't want to do. I got so lost in my feelings for him that I didn't realize that he didn't love me at all. We were together from when I was 22 up until a few weeks before my 25th b-day.

He was always accusing me of really mean and weird things. My cousins mom had kind of raised me and they were like brothers and I told them everything and he would always tell me not to go to their house unless he was there. I never knew why and then he started accusing me of sleeping with my cousins and of cheating on him. My cousins were always telling me normally the accuser was the cheater, and I didn't listen.

He became so controlling that I was afraid of him sometimes. He would tell me that if i went with my friends or  family he would leave me and I thought if I lost him I would loose my whole world. I stopped talking to my friends and most of my family and if I brought a friend home he was really rude to them. He was into some things that weren't good, if you know what I mean. I really thought he loved me though, and I tried so hard to be what he wanted and be good enough, so I just kept on doing what he told me to.

His temper just got worse and my cousins were in on it with him. I always thought I could trust them to tell me if he cheated on me or did the things I didn't approve of. They would take him places and not let me go. He would just cuss me and make me cry and punch walls if I say anything about him going. He could go with his friends but I couldn't.

     There was  this girl who is distantly related to me and she liked him. I knew something was up but never thought he would cheat on me. He knew how much I loved him and I thought he loved me. Well I broke up with him after I realized I didn't deserve to be controlled like that.

 I was so scared of him that I was afraid to leave him. We were apart for a long time and then we got back together for like 3mths.  I found out that he had cheated on me with his ex and that he was going to the bar with her. While I was sitting in the hospital thinking my grandma was dying he was out with her bragging about he was glad I was gone instead of being by the phone for me to call him if I needed him. It just so happened that he took her to my friends house and he cares about me a lot and so he got really mad. His brother told my friend that my bf and a girl at their house so I left him again.

     He had tore my life upside down and I still love him. I also found out that he slept with the girl that was a distant cousin of mine in my bed. We have been split up for over a year at least and he married this summer. I am heartbroken and my world is upside down and broken.

 I will always love him, he is the one who took something from me that I can never take back and now I have nothing to offer when I find the one who loves me back. I don't understand how I can love someone who made me do things I didn't want to do and that made me cry so many times but I will always love him. I hope he treats his wife better than he did me.

P.S
I need you all who take a glance on this post to leave your comment and advice.
My heart is shattered and weak.

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About King Angela Uyi

I am Angela Uyi aka Mama Naija|Two time Social Media Personality Winner| A smooth talker| Humanitaria| Ghost Writer| CopyWriter |Twitter:@Angelauyi |