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Bill Clinton was a great U.S. President, but even he wasn't above making incredibly stupid remarks from time to time. Here are 15 of the dumbest quips, remarks and jokes Clinton ever said.
15. Making The World More Liberal
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During the 2000 State of the Union address, President Clinton tried to set the tone for Vice President Al Gore's presidential campaign by touting Gore's attempts towards better living conditions. Unfortunately, the President goofed big time:
"Last year, the vice president launched a new effort to help make communities more liberal."
Naturally, Gingrich-era Republicans pounced on Clinton's gaffe, taking the attention away from the real issue.
"Last year, the vice president launched a new effort to help make communities more liberal."
Naturally, Gingrich-era Republicans pounced on Clinton's gaffe, taking the attention away from the real issue.
14. Which Way Is Up?
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With the United Nations mission in Bosnia a numbing shambles, President Clinton seemed confused when trying to give reporters insight into his decision making:
"It has not worked. No one can say it has worked, so I decided we're either going to do what we said we're going to do with the U.N., or we're going to do something else."
I guess Dubya hadn't yet cornered the market for confusing pitter-patter around a crucial world issue.
"It has not worked. No one can say it has worked, so I decided we're either going to do what we said we're going to do with the U.N., or we're going to do something else."
I guess Dubya hadn't yet cornered the market for confusing pitter-patter around a crucial world issue.
13. Character Does Matter
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With constant attacks on his character during the 1992 Presidential election campaign, a frustrated Clinton lashed out at his critics, citing that:
"Character doesn't matter!"
Guess again, Bill! Luckily, your effective track record as a hard working politician saved your bacon at the polls time and time again.
"Character doesn't matter!"
Guess again, Bill! Luckily, your effective track record as a hard working politician saved your bacon at the polls time and time again.
12. Pride in the Wrong Places
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With his brother Roger managing to conquer drug addiction, a proud Clinton decided to tell a crowd of supporters just how proud he was of him. The only problem is Bill forgot to say one little thing:
"I have a brother who's a drug addict. I'm very proud of him."
Next thing you'll tell me, he'll be granting Tony Montana a full Presidential pardon.
"I have a brother who's a drug addict. I'm very proud of him."
Next thing you'll tell me, he'll be granting Tony Montana a full Presidential pardon.
11. I Forget Who Said What
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During a campaign stop in the 1996 Presidential election, President Clinton managed to confuse his historical documents.
"The last time I checked, the Constitution said, 'of the people, by the people and for the people'. That's what the Declaration of Independence says."
The phrase doesn't appear in either, but it is in Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address. At least Bob Dole was classy enough to not make such a mistake a major campaign issue.
"The last time I checked, the Constitution said, 'of the people, by the people and for the people'. That's what the Declaration of Independence says."
The phrase doesn't appear in either, but it is in Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address. At least Bob Dole was classy enough to not make such a mistake a major campaign issue.
10. Preserving Civil Rights
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It's hard to believe that a great President actually said such nonsense, but apparently, Clinton did during a campaign stop in 1992:
"We can't be so fixed on our desire to preserve the rights of ordinary Americans."
Isn't that what a President is supposed to do?
"We can't be so fixed on our desire to preserve the rights of ordinary Americans."
Isn't that what a President is supposed to do?
9. This is a Slum?
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"I don't know whether it's the finest public housing in America or the crown jewel of the American penal system."
That is how Bill Clinton described the White House. I suppose it depends on perspective. For someone who doesn't have to contribute a dime towards maintenance, of course it's public housing. For someone who often has to deal with crooks in suits, it's a penal colony.
That is how Bill Clinton described the White House. I suppose it depends on perspective. For someone who doesn't have to contribute a dime towards maintenance, of course it's public housing. For someone who often has to deal with crooks in suits, it's a penal colony.
8. Just Because
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In his autobiography 'My Life', Clinton offered this simple reasoning as to why he pursued an oral affair with plumper intern Monica Lewinsky:
"Because I could."
And all this time I thought it was because he couldn't resist a jackpot when he saw it. Boy, was I wrong!
"Because I could."
And all this time I thought it was because he couldn't resist a jackpot when he saw it. Boy, was I wrong!
7. Alone Together
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Clinton's August 1998 grand jury testimony regarding his antics with intern Monica Lewinsky was eye-opening, especially with the oodles of weird answers, such as this one:
"There were a lot of times when we were alone, but I never really thought we were."
Next thing you know, he'll be saying "I see dead people."
"There were a lot of times when we were alone, but I never really thought we were."
Next thing you know, he'll be saying "I see dead people."
6. This Isn't American Idol, Bill
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When Clinton's Monicagate scandal only reached number 53 on a list of the 100 most significant stories of the century, Clinton took strong exception, asking:
"What's a man got to do to get in the top fifty?"
Apparently he thought this was 'American Idol' and that he deserved Top 12 status. Perhaps if he had knocked Monica up, or had a car accident that made Chappaquiddick look like a pool party, then he might have made the Top 12.
"What's a man got to do to get in the top fifty?"
Apparently he thought this was 'American Idol' and that he deserved Top 12 status. Perhaps if he had knocked Monica up, or had a car accident that made Chappaquiddick look like a pool party, then he might have made the Top 12.
5. Is There Anything He Won't Hit On?
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When the newly discovered Incan mummy Juanita was exhibited at the National Geographic Museum in Washington DC around May 1996, President Clinton couldn't keep his hormones in check, uttering:
"You know, if I were a single man, I might ask that mummy out. That's a good-looking mummy"
I guess this proves that even dead people aren't safe from the amorous eyes of the notoriously horny Clinton.
"You know, if I were a single man, I might ask that mummy out. That's a good-looking mummy"
I guess this proves that even dead people aren't safe from the amorous eyes of the notoriously horny Clinton.
4. Money in the Bank
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"If President Reagan could be an actor and become president, maybe I could become an actor. I've got a good pension. I can work for cheap."
What is cheap, according to Clinton? A mere $1,000,000 per picture?
What is cheap, according to Clinton? A mere $1,000,000 per picture?
3. I Did Not Have Sexual Relations
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Everyone remembers this classic Clinton denial:
"I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky."
By claiming that despite receiving oral gratification from Lewinsky, he wasn't indulging in sexual relations, Clinton opened the floodgates.
"I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky."
By claiming that despite receiving oral gratification from Lewinsky, he wasn't indulging in sexual relations, Clinton opened the floodgates.
2. Up in Smoke
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During his 1992 presidential campaign, Bill Clinton admitted to experimenting with marijuana during his college years abroad in England, but qualified the statement by claiming:
"But I didn't inhale."
While I have never smoked pot, friends of mine have. When I asked them if it is possible to not inhale while toking up, they all told me it is impossible to smoke pot without inhaling. I'll go along with the experts on this one.
"But I didn't inhale."
While I have never smoked pot, friends of mine have. When I asked them if it is possible to not inhale while toking up, they all told me it is impossible to smoke pot without inhaling. I'll go along with the experts on this one.
1. Different Definitions
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During his grand jury testimony in the seemingly never ending Monica Lewinsky scandal, Clinton claimed he wasn't lying when he denied having an affair with the plump intern with the following statement:
"It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is."
I wonder if by using the same line on Hillary when fessing up to his affair, that's how he ended up on the White House couch for close to a year.
"It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is."
I wonder if by using the same line on Hillary when fessing up to his affair, that's how he ended up on the White House couch for close to a year.
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