LEARN TO FORGIVE OTHERS AND FORGIVE YOURSELF

Stachys Ross

There is something I would like to discuss with you all today forgiving others and

forgiving yourself.

Looking back to my past life, I discovered that the root of negative emotions, the main

factor that predisposes a person to blaming and to eager and resentment, fear and

doubt, envy and jealousy, is the inability to forgive someone we feel has hurt us in

some way.

As we grow as children we go through a phase where “justice” is very important to

us. We fixate on the concept of fairness. We are upset by any situation in our lives that

does not seem to be fair and equitable to anyone, especially if it concerns ourselves for

any reason, we take it as a personal attack. Our fragile self-esteem is threatened. We

react with anger and resentment. This is a normal developmental phase of growth that

we go through as we move toward adulthood.

However, some people fixate at this stage and never grow beyond it. If we are not

taught the importance of letting go of our grievances as children, we will come into

adulthood with a gunnysack of unforgiving experiences. If we are not careful, we

will then build our lives around our anger toward people we feel are to blame for

something they did or that we disapprove of. Most psychotherapist and psychiatrist

spend their entire careers helping people confront and deal with these unhappy past

and current experiences.

The only solution to depression and the most powerful and liberating decision you can

make is to forgive everyone who has ever hurt you in any way. Only by freeing the

other person, in your mind, by forgiving him or her no matter the hurt they cause can

you be free yourself.

Have you ever imagine how you would feel if you had no anger toward anyone at

all in the whole world? Imagine being a completely free, positive, optimistic, cheerful

person, with high level of self-esteem and enthusiasm and unlimited self confidence.

Most people hold themselves back from forgiving with a false basic premise. They

think that by forgiving they are condoning the behavior of the person they are made

at. Think that if they forgive the other person, they are doing that person a favor. They

even think that they are letting the other person go free, which they are determined not

to do.

The fact is that two can play the game and it takes two to be a prisoner. A

prisoner cannot be in jail without the jailer likewise the jailer cannot be in

the prison ward without the prisoner therefore the jailer and the prisoner

both are in jail. It is not possible to condone or like the behavior of the

person who hurt you.

When you remain angry with a person without having the mind to forgive you are

giving your emotional control to that person each time you think of him or her. You

allow him or her to control your emotion from a long distance.

I am sure many would ask how?

By not forgiving you allow that person to run your emotional life as though they were

right there with you and the situation was occurring all over again

Writing from experience, the way forgive is simple. Each time you think of

the other person, you use the law of substitution and say, “God bless him

or her; I forgive him or her for everything, and I wish him or her well”

It is not possible to bless and forgive the other person and simultaneously be angry

or upset. The positive thought cancels out the negative thought. To be liberated

have a free mind you must learn how to speed up the process of forgiving by taking

responsibility for your share of what happened.

You can then say, “I am responsible, I shouldn’t have gotten into the situation in the

first place, or stayed in so long. I should not have done what I did; I forgive him or her

completely. Above all forgive yourself and let the past be buried in the past;

and
Important lesson: "The past is just your area of reference and not your area of residence".
#Stachys_Ross

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About King Angela Uyi

I am Angela Uyi aka Mama Naija|Two time Social Media Personality Winner| A smooth talker| Humanitaria| Ghost Writer| CopyWriter |Twitter:@Angelauyi |